29 Funny Retirement Gifts To Make Every Retiree Laughs in 2024

29 Funny Retirement Gifts To Make Every Retiree Laughs in 2024

Retirement is a large milestone for a woman or a man. Be sure they are laughing all the way out of their workplace with these funny retirement gifts.

The new retiree will be beaming ear to ear when they unwrap these retirement gag gifts. Whether you’re searching for a retirement gift for a woman or something creative for a newly retired man, they’re sure to get a good chuckle out of these humor gifts. But really, the joke is on them!

1. Retirement Schedule Coffee Mug

joke retirement gifts: Retirement Schedule Coffee Mug

After spending about 50 years working and doing what other people have told them, it’s their time to go whatever the heck they want. This funny mug makes a great goodbye gift for the coworker that you’re sure to miss. Finally, a schedule they can look forward to.

2. Hilarious Retirement Toilet Paper

humorous retirement gifts: Funny Retirement Toilet Paper

A gag gift doesn’t get much better than embroidered toilet paper. Yes, you read that right! Of course, you can choose from various different puns. This humorous gift is great for either a man or a woman retiree. The perfect, official retirement papers for your friends!

3. Whatever I’m Retired Clock

funny retirement gift ideas: Whatever I'm Retired Clock

During those working years, your retiring friend always has to know what time it is. Time to wake up, time to go on break, time to clock out. But what about during retirement? This joke clock makes a funny, yet still practical gift, for a newly retired man.

4. Funny Quote Mug

retirement gag gifts for women: A Wise Woman Once Said Funny Quote Mug


Retirement is all about not giving a hoot about what others think of you or what you have to do during the day. This hilarious mug says it perfectly. A subtle and to-the-point gift for a retired woman to chuckle whenever she enjoys her morning coffee.

5. Retired Teacher Life Tote Bag

 Retired Teacher Life Tote Bag

Retiring from teaching is a whole other ball game. After years and years of early mornings, late nights, parent-teacher conferences, and lesson plans, you have nothing to do. The life-long educator is sure to get the humor in this retired teacher gift.

6. Wine Rack Wall Mounted

novelty retirement gifts: Wine Rack Wall Mounted

For her whole working life it’s been go, go, go. Now it’s time for her to “wine” down. What better way than with this cute wall-mounted wine rack? A lovely gift for a female who loves her wines and plans to enjoy them, even more, when retiring.

7. Under New Management Mug

gag gift for retirement: Under New Management Funny Mug

This retirement gift for guys isn’t simply for a drink; it also conveys a funny message. There won’t be any interruptions with this funny retirement mug around, that‘s for sure. Allow your dad, husband, or colleague to sip their coffee in peace!

8. Retirement Survival Kit

joke retirement gifts: Retirement Survival Kit

What will they do with all this free time on their hands now? This clever gift is an affordable gift they are sure to get a kick out of. From a candy “cane” to sticky notes to leave reminders, they’re sure to LOL when they get these gag gift ideas.

9. Legend Has Retired T-shirt

Legend Has Retired T-shirt

Nurses deserve a lot of praise for their years of dedication and commitment to their careers. When considering a gift for a retiring nurse, be sure it is something that showcases what an amazing career she has had and what an amazing person she is.

10. Funny Retirement Business Card

Funny Retirement Business Card

If they spent their working life handing out business cards at networking events, they are really going to get a kick out of this hilarious retirement gift. The new retiree no longer needs to answer to a boss or anyone else for that matter.

11. Signature Sign With Hilarious Massage

joke retirement gifts: Retirement Signature With Funny Massage

Get a fun, personalized retirement gift with this framed print. A great gift to give someone at work who is retiring. The words are spelled out using everyday objects and the mat can be signed by all of their adoring co-workers.

12. Wax Candle

novelty retirement gifts: Wax Candle

They were your favorite person at work. Your work partner, the one you went to ask for advice, to console you, and who brought you coffee on Mondays. Now your colleague is leaving you, FOREVER. Be sure to let them know how much you’ll miss them with this handmade joke candle.

13. License to Chill

gag gifts for retirement: License to Chill

This certificate is a cheap and funny retirement gift idea for a retired guy who has spent his career a long time. A quick, printable gift for a last-minute party that he or she is sure to love.

14. Warning Im A Retired Person Frame

humorous retirement gifts: Warning Im A Retired Person Frame

If you have ever talked to someone who is retired, you know that they have stories to tell and all the time in the world to tell them. When looking for gag gifts for retirement, you want to get something that is going to make them laugh, this is it.

15. I Can Wine All I Want, I’m Retired Wine Glass

I Can Wine All I Want, I'm Retired Wine Glass

Everyone has that one special person at work that they love talking to. This wine glass makes a hilarious joke and is a great gift for a retiring friend. Don’t forget their favorite wine too!

16. Finally Happy On Mondays Pillow

joke retirement gifts: Finally Happy On Mondays Pillow

Every working person hates Mondays! They’ve spent the weekend relaxing and not thinking about work only to be abruptly thrown back into it on Monday morning. This humorous pillow makes a great funny retirement gag gift for dad or mom when they finally call it quits.

17. Not My Problem Anymore Beer Glass

funny retirement gift ideas: Not My Problem Anymore Beer Glass

He was always the go-to guy for fixing problems at work. Whether it was a jammed printer or picking up an extra shift. But not anymore! This beer glass gag gift is perfect for a retired man whose new favorite saying is going to be, “not my problem anymore!”

18. Retired Person On The Premises Sign

retirement gag gift: Retired Person On The Premises Sign

Give her guests a warning before they even walk in the door with this funny sign. When buying retirement gag gifts for women, simple is best. She will giggle at this joke each time she starts talking to someone and remembers what this sign says.

19. What You Don’t Know About Retirement

retirement funny gifts: What You Don't Know About Retirement

Becoming a new retiree is a whole new mindset shift. They were always on someone else’s schedule, grinding away. This funny yet truthful book about retirement is perfect for any dad. Sometimes they realize while retiring is great, they might miss their old job and the connections they made.

20. Wine All You Want Wine Bag

Wine All You Want Wine Bag

Whether it’s wining or whining, they can do it all they want now. This wine bag makes a great gift for a retiring friend with a sense of humor. Of course, don’t forget to include their favorite wine as well.

21. Everyday Is Saturday Socks

retirement gag gifts: Everyday Is Saturday Socks

Socks with sayings on them make a great gag gift for men, especially if they love dad jokes. He doesn’t really care what say of the week it is, because to him, it’s always Saturday. Each day he will be shuffling around the house in his funny socks thinking about those suckers still stuck at work.

22. Potty Putter Toilet Golf

funny retirement gifts for him: Potty Putter Toilet Golf

Combine his two favorite past times, putting and pooping. From outside you won’t be able to tell if he’s cursing at his putter…or something else. This silly gift is sure to get used a lot while dad, the official retiree, works on his skills each morning.

23. You Can’t Retire From Being Awesome

humorous retirement gifts: You Can't Retire From Being Awesome

Keeping the mind active in retirement is just as important as keeping the body active. This puzzle book, although practical, makes a great gag gift for any retiree. From word searches to Sudoku, the new retiree will never be bored.

24. Novelty Cane

gag gifts for senior citizens: Novelty Cane

When it comes to novelty retirement gifts, this cane is a go-to. It includes everything they need to safely walk down the street, a horn, some glasses, and a caution sign. While this certainly isn’t a practical gift, it’s something they can display.

25. Officially Retired Eye Mask

retirement gag gift: Officially Retired Eye Mask

Retirement equals naps. They’re sure to get a lot of use out of this gag gift. Whether it’s grandkids coming over to visit or their significant other trying to get them to do things around the house, this “do not disturb” mask will get them out of anything.

26. I’m Retired Do It Yourself Water Bottle

I'm Retired Do It Yourself Water Bottle

Before your favorite coworker leaves you, be sure to get them this retiree water bottle. The joke is on them when they can’t find a replacement to do everything that you used to do when you were at your job.

27. Novelty Apron

joke retirement gifts: Funny Novelty Apron

Perhaps dad is going to spend their time in the kitchen whipping up new creations or tapping into their inner Martha Stewart. If so, they are going to love this novelty apron. A funny retirement gift for men who will be spending all of their free time cooking.

28. Retired Sash

Retired Sash

Throwing a killer party? Perfect, then be sure they have this retired sash to let everyone know that they’re the lucky guy or gal who no longer has to work for “the man.” A hilarious gift for the retiree that they can wear even after the party’s over.

29. F*king Quitter Funny Retirement Gift

This funny mug makes a great gag gift for any retiree. This funny retirement gift comes in two options. Pick your favorite design melt their heart and make them laugh at the same time. It’s another mug to add to their collection so they don’t have to worry about so many dishes.


They’ve had a good run. Whether it’s your parent or a beloved co-working calling it quits, be sure to get them these funny retirement gifts that will bring a smile to their face every day. 



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