80 Funny Witty Christmas Card Sayings For The Holiday 2023

BY Halla Edna
December 16, 2023

The holiday spirit is about celebrating love, life, and those who make our world wonderful. What better way to celebrate the one you love than with a witty Christmas card? This holiday season, bring more than just cheer and love to your Christmas celebration. Bring the joy of laughter with our extensive list of funny Christmas card sayings for the holidays.

We’ve made it easy to share a simple joke, offer a witty greeting, or share a well-loved quote from the year. These are all fun ways to capture the essence of the holiday season. When you add in the element of laughter, you’ll have a Christmas card that will stand out as one of the best in your family’s bunch.

From Christmas jokes that twinkle to goofy quotes that sparkle, we’ve curated the merriest collection of sayings. We have compiled a list of 80 funny sayings for your Christmas card this year. Read on, giggle to yourself, and feel free to steal one (or some) of these messages.

20 Funny Christmas Card Sayings For Family

Always include some sentimental wishes and greetings when drafting a Christmas card to your family members. And choose a couple of hilarious sayings below that are suitable for your grandparents and parents. Don’t go overboard. But for your sisters and brothers, you can show a greater sense of humor with these funny Christmas sayings. Everyone will definitely will burst into laughter!

I hope you love the present you told me to buy for you.
Merry Christmas, and hippy new year.
What do you call a gingerbread ninja? – Ginjas! (We never get tired of this Christmas holiday joke!)
Christmas is Claus for celebration!
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
This holiday season let us treasure what is truly important in all our lives, the reason for the season: your Cookies.
You know those commercials where the present is a brand new car with a big red bow? Yeah, we’re not doing that.
Home is where the Christmas cookies and presents are!
Christmas is not about presents. It’s about family… and spiral ham…. and who in the family is bringing the spiral ham?
I know we say this every year… but let’s actually go caroling… No, I mean it! Our neighbors will looove it…
I would say all I want for Christmas is YOU, But I really would love a new credit card as well!
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz
“My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.” – Melanie White
“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.” – Kin Hubbard
“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.” – Don Marquis
That warm feeling isn’t just the Christmas spirit. I think you left the oven on.
“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” – Garrison Keillor
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple
“There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.” – Bob Phillips
Christmas has been canceled. Unfortunately, you told Santa that you’ve been good. He died laughing.

Explore Personalized Gifts for Family Members:

20 Christmas Card Sayings For Friends

As for your friends, especially your BFF, you can go wild with the Christmas cards. Just imagine giving the gift to a friend that you have not met for a long time. Your greetings including a funny saying and wishes can bring tears and laughter at the same time.

May you be surrounded by ho’s this Christmas season.
Ho! Ho! Holy shit! It’s almost Christmas!
May your nuts remain uncracked this holiday season.
You bettah check yo elf before you wreck yo elf.
Let’s be naughty and save Santa a trip.
When I think about you, I touch my elf.
The best way to spread Christmas cheer is by singing loudly offkey so everyone gets away from you.
Another Christmas already? Seriously, what the Elf?
I’m sure the one thing you don’t want to find in your stockings on Christmas morning is your husband/wife!
Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too, until the credit card bills arrive.
Christmas is a good excuse to send cards to all my favorite people. Congratulations on retaining your position on my list this year.
May your fun be large and bills be small this year. Merry Christmas!
I’m trying something new this Christmas. I’m going to wrap myself up and sleep under the Christmas tree, so you’ll finally understand what a gift I am to you.
I hope you like my new Christmas cake recipe. They are called shut the fucupcakes, its Christmas.
I couldn’t afford a present this year’s Christmas, so I wrapped myself for you.
Santa has had the right idea all along. Visiting family only once per year. Genius!
Mentally: I am totally ready for Christmas. Financially? I’ll never be ready.
You know what I got for Christmas? Fat. I. Got. Fat!
You’ll like this present.
You gave it to me last year!
Merry Christmas to my favorite… Ho, Ho, Ho!

Explore Personalized Gifts for Best Friends:

20 Christmas Card Sayings For Coworkers

Some of your closed coworkers might ignore you for a long time if you forget to get your colleagues some Christmas gifts (hope we are not overthinking). But remember, the jokes and funny sayings in the Chrismas cards for your boss cannot be the same as those for your colleagues. Wisely choose the ones that bring a big smile to their face but not awkwardness, ok?

May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love, and your life with absolutely everything you put on your wish list.
Hope you have a remember-forever-and-ever-and-ever-and-ever kind of holiday.
Wishing you the gifts of the season — Peace, Joy, and Cabernet Sauvignon.
But first, let me take an elfie.
Christmas comes but once a year, but when it comes, it’d better bring good beer.
Time to get into the Christmas spirit – vodka, gin, rum, etc.
We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and you’re welcome – that song’s now stuck in your head all day.
Bring on the joy! Bring on the cheer! Bring on the present swap game… I always dominate!
If you look for me at Christmas, Don’t forget to check the local bar!
Santa saw your Facebook – you’re getting a dictionary this year!
If I had to choose between you and Santa. I’d probably choose you, only for the fact that it’s extremely weird how some old guy breaks into my house to give me gifts. If he wasn’t old, I’d choose him…
I would have bought you that really high priced gift that we both have talked about, but you know, with the pay here, this card was all that I could afford! Merry Christmas!
“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” – Henny Youngman
Can I keep you forever? You are the perfect gift i would never like to lose for this Christmas.
Why Christmas is just like any other day in office, I always find the big man come and take all the credit away in the evening.
So Santa hides behind a large beard and has no income, but he can afford to give away billions of presents and flies to every city across the world every year. Are we sure Santa isn’t money laundering?
What I don’t like about work Christmas parties is the possibility I might have to look for a job the next day after I have suitably embarrassed myself.
Christmas is so much worse as you get older. It’s like “What do you want this year?”
IDK, financial security?
A career?
A sense of purpose?
But a nap would be nice!!
Wishing you a Merry Christmas! Oops you are working today, sorry it’s your shift!
You are a true Santa, I didn’t expect my salary to double this Christmas. May it continue the same throughout the year! Merry Christmas Boss!

Explore The Best Christmas Gifts for Coworkers:

20 Fun Dog Christmas Card Sayings

This kind of Christmas card sayings is quite odd so we have to make a completely separate section. Say you have a poochie, and the idea of making a dog Christmas card might pop in your head (tell us you have never thought of that!). So, go one step further and start your messages with a few amazing dog Christmas card sayings. These humorous sayings are short yet can fill the card with the festive spirit.

Finally, you will have the cutest and funniest card that your recipients will save as a keepsake. And maybe you will be the one who inspires their Christmas cards next year.

Have yourself a hairy little Christmas! Can you get it? Great! Now let’s get started.

Happy Pawsliday! May your days be furry and bright!
Have a barking good Christmas and a tail-waggin’ New Year!
Ho, Ho, Ho it’s Santa Paws!
Daschund through the snow
For Christmas, please bring me squeaky toys and treats. No clothes! I repeat. NO CLOTHES!
Keep the food coming and we’ll jingle all the way.
We woof you a Merry Christmas!
Have a Pawsitively Happy Holiday!
Feliz Naughty-Dog!
I believe in Santa Paws!
Silent Night, Howwwwly night; dogs are calm, birds are alright…
I’ll say this… if me wearing this (ridiculous costume) doesn’t get me an awesome holiday gift, nothing will!
Seasons Grrrrrreetings!
Become Rudolph they said! It would be fun they said!
Santa’s not the only one who likes getting milk and cookies. Merry Christmas!
My owners are at it again! Must be that silly season thing!
I ate Elf on shelf. I helped because he is creeeeeepy!
I destroyed your other gifts. Because I’m the only one you need!
Wreck the trees and blame the doggies.
Fa la la la la la!
Santa, you are not leaving until I get my Tennis Ball!

Shop Holiday Gifts for Pet Lovers:

Final Words

Now we guess that you already made your Christmas shopping list for parents or still wandering around the Internet for some seasonal gurus. Whichever the case is, don’t forget Christmas cards for the gifts. Take your time and compose some heartfelt messages. Include a couple of our funny Christmas sayings for your card, and expect some great laughter from the recipient.

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